Gifted Wings

A kid 6-stepped around the perimeter of a small platform on top of a van, quickening his pace along with the beat blasted from bass-heavy speakers. Sneakers blurred as the curious crowds on the beach boardwalk transformed from passersby to rubberneckers to onlookers. While the snare crescendoed, the breakdancing kid introduced various flares and windmills into his repertoire. Just as the music reached its anticipated climax, he back-flipped off the platform onto a designated landing pad, triggering an optimally calibrated vertical launch of two Red Bull cans. The kid snatched the projectiles in both hands at their apex, and he crushed the streams of characteristically red-brown liquid into his mouth in a single, literally fluid motion.

The gathered masses erupted, tossing their inflatable beach toys, cheap sunglasses, and boardwalk confections into the air. Queues flooded the sides of the van where Red Bull merchandise was freely distributed. It was a combination of product branding and obscure athleticism rivaled only by the annual Nathan's hot dog eating competition. Spoken in the same breath as Joey Chestnut, word on the street of their kid's talents soon spread like a mania through the American hivemind.

It became curious to a few observant analysts that the Red Bull kid had no issues with his health after months of touring coast to coast. His genetic condition was eventually documented as the first of its kind, rendering him essentially immune to high doses of energy drinks. Speculation and conspiracies proliferated after a second kid was sponsored by a rival corporation. Both companies denied any allegations of wrongdoing, and their kids germinated into legends on the breakdancing circuit, even competing in the Olympic games.

Whether their kids' origins were naturally or nefariously engineered, their subsequent rise to stardom attracted many interested eyes with shockingly few questions. Any ethical or moral qualms were muffled mumbles by this point. As long as their heroes donned the red, white, and blue shades of capitalism, all was justified. The starting shot had fired for the genetic engineering race, with an early lead carried by Red Bull and the energy drink industry. Within mere years, their kids handed the baton to countless others sprinting in the name of unbridled American advertising.